It doesn’t seem unreasonable to suggest that many women dream about wedding dress shopping. I was sure one of them. I couldn’t wait to wear dreamy gowns and feel like the very best me.
It wasn’t surprising, then, to learn that not only was I not a fan of wedding dress shopping but that I also bought a wrong size bridal gown which I never ended up wearing. (Big mistake, huge!)
I ended-up wearing the dress I adored and ordered as a rescue purchase because the original gown was not what I had envisioned.
I know now that I made many errors when shopping for wedding gowns. Here are some tips to help you find the perfect wedding dress.
These are the things I wish these were before I said yes (wrong) to the dress.
8 things to consider before you start shopping for your wedding dress
Do your research
This is a very obvious point, but I was not able to grasp it fully before I got started. I was so excited that I started shopping for wedding dresses, I went to my first boutique not knowing what style I wanted.
I knew which shapes would flatter my figure, and had a long-list of things I didn’t want for my bridesmaid gown. I also expected the shop assistants at my store to make me a perfect dress.
Although many shops stock lots of dresses, the women who work in them may not know your style or taste. I wish I had viewed more wedding dresses online so I could identify the particular styles, themes and designers that I wanted.
Even if there isn’t a clear idea of the dresses you want, it helps to bring a Pinterest Board with you to the shop.
2. The dresses are too small.
This is particularly true for women who aren’t able to get into sample sizes. Though I had hoped that bridal shops would stock a range sizes, I was wrong. In Australia, especially, the majority of gowns available for try-on were sizes 8 to 10, and I’d be truly grateful if someone had a size 12, which I can.
This means you’ll be tucked or pinched into fittings that are too small. It is important to envision the fitting fitting you.
Some shops excel at this and will gently corset and secure you in discreetly. However, others expect you not to do that and to flaunt your pants in front friends. Or, as I was told, to have a helper with cold hands hold the dress together.
I tried many beautiful gowns that I wouldn’t mind paying the high price for. If they could have made one that fit over my hips, I would.
3. Take note of the size you ordered your dress in
If the size of the sample you see in store is not right, the store might order you a larger dress.
Speaking with other brides, I discovered that most bridal shop take measurements and then order the right size dress for you. While this may make sense in some cases, since a bride shouldn’t have a small dress, it can cause serious problems for someone like mine, who has a smaller top half than the bottom.
I fell for a size 10, sample dress. It was just right for me. But despite the fact that the dress was not designed to fit my bottom, I ordered a bodice to make it fit. It was two sizes too large and barely touched my sides in my first fitting. Although the dress was made to fit me after four rounds of adjustments, and with cups that were one size larger than the breasts, it was still far from flattering. The proportions and bodice of the sample gown I loved were not apparent.
This is the standard way of ordering in wedding dress shops. But, I did meet two brides that this didn’t work for during dress shopping. I think I would have A) asked their size and ordered a smaller gown or B) paid more to get a custom-made one that was the exact size I wanted.
4. Take care when choosing your bridal store
After identifying a designer whose boho bridesmaid gown I liked I began to search for a stockist. This was in central Sydney, where I was living at that time. Now, looking back, I can clearly say that choosing a location to buy your dress is a bad idea.
Despite the fact that I was aware from the beginning that this shop didn’t offer the best customer service, it wasn’t impossible to persist. This bad service ultimately affected my feelings about my dress and marred our entire wedding experience.
It’s important to pay attention not only to how long you wait, but also to whether the staff listens to your ideas and how the fitting rooms are lit.
Some of the things that were disappointing about my Sydney wedding store experience include:
The fitting rooms were full so it was best to have the alterations performed behind a curtain. (This was a prearranged alterations appointment that I paid $550 for!)
Halfway through, someone was cutting my hem to fit another bride (who they were trying for to buy) and I was asked to move it off.
The low point of my dress experience was the day that I said I wasn’t happy with the creases of the bodice. This led to an assistant lifting up my skirt and pulling at my knickers trying to fix the problem. This was in the middle a glass-fronted store. Lovely!
I wish I was more picky about who I spent $4k on and what I paid for a large portion of my wedding planning!
5. Don’t let the store’s timetable scare your into buying something
Every bridal shop I went into told me to make a decision fast if I wanted my wedding dress to arrive in the time I requested. This pressure may have led me into making some of the mistakes mentioned above.
I have found that it is better to keep looking until finding something you love, than to settle on something you don’t know because you were forced into making a choice.
It is best to avoid starting looking too early. The details of your wedding may change. And, as new gowns are introduced, your preferences could also change.
6. You may not get the price you pay
Unfortunately, any bride-tobe will soon find out there is a special Wedding Tax that increases the price of everything if you mention that it’s wedding.
This principle was more apparent when shopping for wedding dresses. You can find beautiful dresses, but if it makes you feel amazing and you have the funds to buy a wedding dress for your big day, don’t hesitate!
The thing that frustrates most about my poor experience with wedding dresses is the fact I received better customer service by spending $400 at a designer store rather than $4k for a dress.
7. It’s a deeply personal purchase
It was well described by my friend when she said that your wedding dresses are the most meaningful garment you will ever own. I understand her point of view. There’s so much to consider when it comes to the gown you choose. This includes how you imagined you’d look on your big day, how your parents saw you, how you feel about yourself, and what you want for your groom. It is important to pay attention and consider the details I have listed in points 1-6.
The point of a wedding is not always the dress, but it has a significant impact on how a bride feels on the day. Do your best to look good when you see the wedding pictures.
8. Friends can help you
There have been many articles on how not to take too many friends (and what their opinions are!) Even though I went through my wedding dress shopping experience mostly solo, I can tell you how important it was to have your friends.
I chose to accept the dress. My family and close friends were waiting next to me in the dressing room. I was so happy with the look that I couldn’t stop smiling. They were lovely and tried to help me. But if they had been my mother and bridesmaids, instead they might have said: “This is lovely Jayne, but didn’t your mum say you didn’t want a railway?” or “Won’t that make you feel hot in Thailand?” They weren’t there for me to think twice, and by the moment I got back in the UK, the store had stolen my credit card information.
So these are just a couple of things that went wrong as I was trying to find my perfect wedding dress. I hope you find my rookie mistakes helpful and that it helps other brides to avoid making the same mistakes.