Take a look Philosophical
Make birthdays fun and transform them into a smart way to express your feelings about the process of getting older. These birthday cards with funny messages are easy and enjoyable.
1. “You’re certainly not old. You’ve been aged to perfection.”
2. “Statistics reveal that people with the highest number of birthdays also live longest.”
3. “Remember that getting older is not a choice, but growing older is an option!”
4. “Age is simply the amount of years that the universe has been having fun with you.”
5. “As you develop silver hair and develop wrinkles, remember that you’re increasing your wisdom!”
6. “If Jesus were your name, today would be Christmas! Jesus this day is Christmas!”
7. “It’s more beneficial to be higher up instead of under it.”
8. “Another day later is another day to enjoy more cake.”
9. “You are aware of the sayings about candles … more of a wish!”
Senior Citizen Status
Certain things scream “senior citizen,” such as the AARP membership and reverse mortgages. It’s an inexhaustible supply of hard candy. Let go of the burden of the aging process by making fun of everything that is related to the age of.
10. “Here’s for many more rooster turns about the Sun. We wish you a long life old and toothless. Jell O is the future’s caviar!”
11. “Even in your advanced age You’re still the most wonderful friend anyone could ever have. I’ll have the prune juice ready however.”
12. “Happy birthday to you, my dear! I hope that this year is filled with happiness, depend on prune juice, compress socks.”
13. “Happy birthday! I am smelling the smell of Bengay from this spot… Oh my!”
14. “If someone calls you old, smack them with a cane and take the teeth towards them.”
15. “Another year has passed and you’re just one step closer to getting that pair of Velcro footwear!”
16. “Remember to begin taking your daily vitamin and supplement with fiber You are an old fogey!”
17. “You’re officially old. We’re looking forward to writing checks at the shop, doing the NYT crossword puzzle with a pen and eating dinner before 5pm to get to bed at 9 pm (you’re right that 8pm is more reasonable)! !”
Funny Birthday Card Messages for Birthdays
Make sure to wish the birthday person or family member a wonderful day filled with happiness, love, and all the puns they’re able to handle (get it? ).
18. “Turn up the MEWsic , and Let’s get him started on his PAWty!”
19. “Here’s an OAST for BUTTER in the days to come – you deserve to be able to enjoy the day in BREAD! I love you.”
20. “Feliz cumpleanos. Have a FLAN-tastic Birthday!”
21. “It you’re celebrating your birthday today, and you BATTER belie it!”
22. “You FETA have a GOUDA birthday.”
23. “What is the 21st day of your birthday? The BEER-thday.”
24. “Turning 21… it’s not anything to drink about.”
25. “Have a wonderful birthday. Hope it’s not too cheesy.”
26. “Happy birthday. You’re one of the MELON.”
27. “A birthday cake as the golf ball. You have to smash it.”
28. “The cat’s gone, you’re one-year older. Hope your birthday leaves you FELINE good!”
29. “It’s you birthday? ALPACA my party cap.”
30. “Wishing you LLAMA party to celebrate your Birthday!”
31. “Go, Shawty! You’re on Sherbert Day!”
32. “Have an amazing birthday!”
Dad Jokes to come to the rescue
What will you get when you mix puns and a hilarious birthday joke? A dad joke, DUH! Who doesn’t enjoy the perfect dad joke? Include one (or several) of these eye-rolling dad jokes for an emoji on your birthday.
33. “What kind of music would be in danger to use for balloons on birthdays? The music of pop.”
34. “How do you celebrate pickles’ birthdays? They love them.”
35. “Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Bacon? Bacon, who? Bacon cake to celebrate the day of your birthday.”
36. “What happens when it goes up, but never decreases? The age of your body.”
37. “Why did the birthday cake turn out to be as solid as the rock? It was the size of a marble cake.”
38. “What did one vegetable say to the other veggie on the day of its birthday? “Hapea Birthday.”
39. “What did the teddy bear think after blowing out candles for his birthday? There’s no cake for me I’m overstuffed!”
40. “What was one candle’s message to another candle? Do birthdays not cause you to burn?”
41. “Did you know about the huge party candle sales? It was a huge explosion.”
42. “What do birthdays always end with? The letter”Y.”
43. “What’s the most popular kind of cake for a birthday? Shortcake.”
44. “What would you tell an ewe’s female for her birthday? Happy birthday to the ewe!”
45. “What would you give for a hunter’s birthday? A birthday Pheasant.”
46. “How do raccoons spend their birthdays? They get mangled.”
47. “Why do cats enjoy birthdays? They just love to purr.”
48. “How can a cat be able to celebrate their birthday? by raising the mewsic.”
49. “What is a turtle’s job to celebrate this day? He is a shell-a-brates.”
50. “What did one of the crustaceans tell the other one for his birthday? Have a crab-u-lous day!”
Funny Comments about Aging
It’s just a number , after all, isn’t it? You are free to poke fun at someone’s age , and the issues they’ll have to contend with as years go by.
51. “With the aging process is the development of new skills. You’re now able to be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and even pee all simultaneously! You’re not kidding… It’s been like it for thirty years. We wish you a happy day!”
52. “Don’t forget to put on your birthday outfit. Make sure to check the suit for wrinkles first!”
53. “Happy Birthday! You’re at the point that the fire marshal won’t let us put genuine candles onto your cake!”
54. Happy birthday my sweet babu! I can’t believe that you’re 40, and I’m just 21. I hope that you are excited about the big red cake and moisturize to prevent wrinkles.
55. “You realize you’re old when you’re a little cautious and that’s the only thing you’re concerned about to do is exercise.”
56. “Yes we’ve reached the point where every compliment we receive is followed by ‘for the age’. You’re still gorgeous… in you age!”
57. “Remember your age only an amount… it’s just one that is really, REALLY high one in your situation!”
58. “Hope you have a great day, filled with cake and glitter , and perhaps sleeping in all night (because the you’re getting old).”
59. “As you age there are three things that happen. First, your memory fades and I’m not able to recall the second and third.”
60. “Happy birthday! Be sure to party hard however, not too hard I’ve heard that hangovers get worse as you the advancing years.”
Include Inside Jokes
There’s nothing more fun and more genuine than a good old-fashioned inside joke. They speak volumes about the relationship you have with your birthday boy or lady. They reveal how you’ve gone through thick and thin and have come out of every situation with a laugh with plenty of laughter. Incorporate something personal that just the two of you have in common – it’s that unique element that really hits the mark.
61. “Party loud, however perhaps bring another set of underwear this time”
62. “Happy birthday, my dearest friend! I hope you have the most wonderful day of celebration. I’m excited to kiss you on the cheek within a couple of months. Love you always.”
63. “Happy birthday best friend! Here’s to another great year in which we laugh at ourselves, talk to crazy people and keeping one another healthy!”
Comedy About Presents — or the Lack of It
If you didn’t want to send an item of gift … This is fine since you’re sending them a fabulous Punkpost gift card! It will give your loved ones an chuckle.
64. “Because you are so important to me, I gave you this paper piece that’s divided in half! I’d love to have us have a celebration together, but instead you’ll receive this amazing card. It’s pretty much the exact as the other card.”
65. “I’m sure we’ll find your… some thing… some thing useful. In the event that we don’t manage to get it together I’m thinking you should buy a gift card.”
66. “They affirm that love and friendship is the most wonderful gift you can give to someone. This is why I bought you for the day you turned a birthday!”
67. “You’re an extremely difficult person to buy for… therefore I didn’t buy you something. Happy Birthday!”
68. “Forget everything you know about your past because you can’t alter it. Do not think of the future because you cannot predict it. Let’s forget about the present. I didn’t give you one.”
Create It Around You
We do are concerned about our dear ones. We wouldn’t send an email or card without it! However, to keep things light and fun, make their birthday into your own reason to have a celebration.
69. “Happy Birthday to our intelligent, talented incredible, amazing and adorable niece! You definitely resemble your very own aunt shehe!”
70. “Happy day to my brother, who has the greatest sister in the world! You’re lucky to be so fortunate! I hope this makes you laugh and make you smile the remainder of your memorable day!”
71. “Happy birthday, mom! Whatever life throws your way it is at least possible to be content that for the fact that you don’t have ugly children. From The Pretty One!”
72. “See I don’t make a fuss! I wish you an awesome birthday! Your snarky best friend.”
73. “Thanks for getting older and wiser. You’ve let me know when I can expect wrinkles and grey hair.”
74. “Your birthday is the day we get to go out, enjoy amazing food, and then party all night. Thank you that you were born!”
75. “Smart and attractive, and humorous. That’s enough of me. Happy Birthday!”
76. “Let’s make yourself so drunk you believe that it’s my birthday. You’ll be buying me drinks all night long.”
Start a Welcoming Committee
If you’re a bit older than your buddy tell them what’s coming up as they enter their new age or decade.
77. “Happy 21st birthday MF! Welcome to the darkness!”
78. “Welcome to the definitely-in-you-late-20s club! It’s wonderful that you have your 401k, and know what we want from life! SIKE! I’m still not sure what shit is and will never have the knowledge!”
79. “Welcome into the 30s, when people start having babies and body parts hurt without cause and hangovers last for 2 days, and falling asleep by 9pm is a common routine at all times, even during weekends. The process of aging is wonderful!”
80. “Happy birthday!!!! Are you 40?? Welcom to this club! I hope you’ll like Advil as well as night cream. I love you!”
Death Defying
There’s no way around it : a year old means that you’re one year closer to dying… It’s scary! Add some comedy to the situation and let them know that you’re grateful to be active and healthy.
81. “If I’m an old person, then you’re definitely old. And I’m sure I’m old because of my wrinkles, gray hairs and organ problems. I wish you an awesome day. It might be your last. …”
82. “Here’s to being alive on the outside, but being a dead person inside!”
83. “I’m very happy that you’re alive! I wish you an amazing day with your old friends from the past playing golf, as well as eating red meat till you pass away from cancer or gastrointestinal failure!”
82. “Be careful. Many birthdays could end your life.”
84. “Happy birthday! Don’t die.”
85. “At the very least, you’re not old as you’ll become next year… If you’re able to make it!”
86. “I will cease telling jokes about age on your birthday today… it’s reached the point at which it’s just not funny no more.”
87. “You’ve been around for another year in the sun, and boy am I happy for this. I could not envision my life in the absence of you, so remain alive!”
88. “Keep going, you’re a living thing. Happy late (but what’s the point of time is it really?) birthday!”
Confetti Fun
Surprise!! It’s an undiscovered CONFETTI BOMB!! Include confetti and one of these messages on any birthday card and make the recipient laugh and then sigh in frustration.
89. “You make life so enjoyable.”
90. “You already knew that confetti was on the way. We wish you a very happy birthday!”
91. “We cherish you and hope you have a wonderful day! Take your time cleaning the confetti that was on this card!”
Sassy and Sexy
To celebrate your partner’s birthday What better way to make it a little more exciting? These sassy and flirty messages will make them feel in a celebration mood.”wink-wink!”
If you’re looking to send offensive birthday cards you’ll find a great selection at Obscenity Cards.
92. “I wanted to mail you something “sexy” but the mailman forced me to leave the mailbox. This is why I’m sending you a card instead!”
93. “You might have wrinkles or an age spot of bright red around your face, however you’ve have an ass that kills. Happy Birthday baby! I am so happy for you! Love, Your Young Wife.”
94. “Old as a pig, but you are still look so cute! I wish you the best birthday yet , and many more to be to Happy birthday, “old man””
95. “Happy birthday, my dear! I’m throwing a party in my pants, and you’re invited! Hehe!”
96. “I am in love with you to the core of my heart! I’d like to swear with my heart however, my butt’s larger. My butt loves you!”
97. “It’s your birthday so I’ll blow your horn. Happy Birthday!”
98. “As we age I will cherish you more deeply than I have ever before. I will love your wrinkles and wrinkles when you smile and look at me with a frown. I’ll massage your excess fat, loose skin and sagging tummy! A steamy kiss, like it’s our first. Then, no matter how hard it is our intention to love as if it’s the last time we kiss!”
99. “Since this is your day, I’ll keep the lights on.”
Pop Culture
Pop culture references do double duty. They make you sound trendy and contemporary, however, they can also be an archive to revisit them within 20 years (because everybody has their birth certificates the same amount of time, don’t you think?). Enjoy a laugh right today and come back after!
100. “Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate by going ‘Schitt-faced someplace!”
101. “Why Did the angry Jedi take a detour? In order to reach Dark Side! We wish you an amazing birthday!”
102. “For Your Birthday, what do you feel about ‘True Crime and Wine’. “Happy birthday!”
103. “Happy Birthday to me and my most loved muggy. I love you just like Dobby is a lover of socks!”
Love You I Love You, Love You, Hate You Happy Birthday!
It’s a love-hate affair. The annoying little brother who you admire so much. Your best friend that is also a complete nightmare. You love them however, sometimes you dislike them. We don’t get it either! We wish them a Happy Birthday however.
104. “You’re an alcoholic most of the time, but I am in love with you!”
105. “Your smelly feces are a problem however, until they cause me to die, I will always cherish you. Happy birthday! I am so sorry, you little turd.”
106. “Listen up, punk! It’s been enjoyable watching you develop to become an independent young man. Thank you for your 18th birthday!”
107. “Happy day to most disgusting person I’ve ever met. You get me off my toes all the time. But I still have affection for you. Enjoy a slice of cake and dance around with on your cake!”
108. “Hope that you are having a fantastic day. I am so grateful (most often) for the opportunity to have you as my sister! I love you!”
109. “Happy birthday to yooooouuuuu! We hope your birthday is as memorable, unique and memorable as yours! We cherish you and are grateful for a child as you!”
110. “You’re quite greasy however I really love you, I think. Your grease doesn’t get out from my unconditional love. You smell just similar to my pet. A bad smell. I love you.”
Vaginal Journey Day of Remembrance
Let’s face it as it is: birthdays are just a reminder of the day that somebody exploded from their mother’s uterus. Send a birthday message which also pays tribute to the vagina of that mom’s.
111. “Another year since you were able to get out of the vagina! “Happy birthday!”
112. “Happy Vaginal Journey Remembrance Day!”
113. “Happy birthday! Thank you for escaping your mother’s vagina.”
114. “I hope you enjoy an unforgettable day on the 35th anniversary of your vaginal descent!”
115. “Best wishes to celebrate the day you felt your face rub the vagina of your mother.”
Parents are Getting It On
Ewwwww!! Fun or cringe-worthy? It’s an art of balancing the two! Perhaps best to save these messages for people who know have a great ability to laugh.
116. “Happy Day of Birth! I’m so thankful that your parents had sex so they could bring you to.”
117. “So happy that your parents received it on that day during the 1940’s. All around war there was talk of an imminent invasion by the Japanese and yet two lovers were able to find some time in bombing raids to get you.”
118. “I’m happy that your parents swung by the uglinesses 33 years ago. We don’t even know what we’d be doing with out you!”
119. “I’m happy that your parents have helped you. What would you do what would have happened if they didn’t? I did, and it was one of the worst five seconds of my entire week.”
In the past In The Day
The speed that the world is evolving right this moment can be stupefying. Think back to the days prior to the advent of the internet? Remember simpler times.
120. “Happy birthday to anyone old enough to know how it feels to go to the bathroom without a phone! Enjoy your day and a great butthead!”
121. “Do you and your fellow funky young kids of who are your age still use the word “dope”? When you and I were children, we would use words such as ‘wack and “buck wild,” and “ridiculavolkoff’. Anyway, I hope you take advantage of your birthday and enjoy a hefty glass… that is, of the kool-aid.”
122. “Happy birthday! Because you’re getting older I thought I’d give you something a bit more traditional than snapping you while I go shit.”
123. “May your Facebook walls be full of birthday wishes from friends who you’ve never met, seen in a while or truly do not care at all about.”
Fun Memories
Just like a good joke, bringing back nostalgic memories of hilarious moments you’ve shared with your birthday girl or boy will certainly make them smile on their face. We wish you a great time!
124. “Wishing you a happy and exciting birthday! Remember the time in Greece you believed that olive trees were grapes? We remember hehe. We wish you a wonderful birthday celebration!”
125. “Remember when I went from the home at 13 and you awoke before me with a policeman standing on your porch? The time you gave me money (haha okay… it occurred more than once …)?”
126. “Happy birthday! We’re turning 25 this year? We were only in middle school, and Carowinds as well as Chili’s was our favorite places to go haha! Make the year 25 the most memorable ever!”
127. “I’ll never forget the Dodgers game that you went to with us. The man was selling tickets from car-to-car and completely exposed his butt crack when he leant over to speak to the car in front of us. Ha ha ha ha! I have many memories of you! I hope you have a wonderful birthday!”
Ideas for Birthday Messages for Belated Birthdays
Oops!! You didn’t send your loved ones an anniversary card… it’s a shame! However, as the saying is better tardy than never! So , send that late birthday greeting and make use of one of these acceptable excuses (you’re accepted! ).
128. “Now after all the birthday wishes of everyone else have been snuffed out I’m going to send you a huge birthday wish from me! “Happy (belated) day!”
129. “I decided that we all love vintage collectibles , so I allowed your birthday card to age slightly to keep up with your old bit! It’s not true… this card really isn’t really old! Haha love ya!”
130. “I realize that this card is old news however, in my age, my memory hasn’t improved to the same as it was in the past. …”
131. “It would be me if your gift card and gift weren’t too late!”
Now send Your Favorite Funny Birthday Messages!
Create a card that makes them smile since, really, isn’t laughter the most wonderful birthday present of all? It’s as simple as copying and pasting. We’ll write the fun birthday card’s message and send it to you!